New Shampoo Bad Idea
by HopelessJuliet
Summary: What happens when Bella gets some new shampoo after the meadow? What will Edward do? Read to find out! Rated M for maybe future lemons.
1. Chapter 1

It was twilight and I was staring out of my bedroom window, bored as hell. God I missed Edward when he wasn't here. Especially after what happened when we were in the meadow last. We had been inseparable ever since then, and I mean _inseparable. _He even tried to follow me into the shower two days ago. I tried to physically push him out but, considering he is like a 5 tonne weight and I'm pretty much as strong as a feather, it didn't work out quite the way I wanted it to. In the end, even though I knew I had never done it before, thought about it before or even desired to do it before; I grabbed his crotch and _then _pushed him. I had never seen him look so surprised or confused. Once he was a few feet from the door I let go and ran into the bathroom. That was one thing I wasn't going to forget; his face. I doubled over in laughter when I had locked the bathroom door and it took me a while to compose myself. Even the memory makes me laugh.

I glanced over at the clock on my bedside table and smiled. Edward would be here soon. In fact, he would be here in...

Five...

Four...

Three...

Two...

One...

"Hello my love." I looked over my shoulder to see my god-like vampire boyfriend smiling his heart-breaking, crooked smile at me. I swear every time he did that, my heart exploded into a million pieces.

I turned my whole body around to face him and walked over to him. He instantly pulled me into a warm hug, well a cold hug but it meant to be warm, and kissed the top of my head.

"Hello Edward." I rubbed my head against his chest, revelling in his smell. That was one thing I really liked about Edward, he never failed to disappoint. He couldn't disappoint anyone, even if he tried. I smiled at my own statement then froze.

Edward just moaned.

"Oh Bella." I froze in his arms and looked up at his face. His eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly open. He looked like he was drugged up or something.

"Edward. What the hell?"

His eyes flew open and immediately found mine. His eyes had turned dark, even though he had just gone hunting, and looked hungry. For what he was hungry for I wasn't so sure about.

"Sorry Bella, it's just..."

I waited for him to carry on. I was going to get an answer from him.

"It's just that you smell _so good_. I mean, I'm tempted to take you _right now._" Ok...I was NOT expecting that. He really likes my blood doesn't he? Stupid vampire diet.

"Yeah Edward I know you like the smell of my blood, I just didn't know you'd give up so quickly." I was a little disappointed that it wasn't me he wanted, it was my blood.

"Silly Bella. It's not your blood that I want, it's _you. _And your hair smells so sweet and still a little wet and it's making it very, _very _difficult for me to concentrate." Oh. Now I see. I love my mum so, so, so much! She had got me some new shower stuff for me when I complained about the lack of things that Forks had, and it was really posh. There was this Chocolate smelling shampoo and it smelled so good, I had to try it. Thinking about it though, it must be really good with Edward's sense of smell.

_Whoever invented that was the best person in the world and should be given a noble prize or something._

"Oh I know why. I've got a new shampoo. It's chocolate." I smiled up at him as I said this. He still looked high.

"Mmm, you should use it more often."

Edward's head bent down and his cold lips pressed against my neck. A shiver ran up my spine; it felt so good when he kissed me. His kisses went further down my neck towards my collar bone. He then stopped at the hollow of my throat a licked it. I couldn't stop the moan that escaped my lips.

"Bella can we please?" Oh no, not this conversation. He was going to try and seduce me and it's probably going to work and the whole thing about sex after marriage is going to fly out of the window. I am so screwed.

"Edward, no. You wanted to wait and so we are. And now I want to wait and so we shall." I sounded very posh when I said that. I felt pretty proud but then when I felt Edward laugh against my skin, and it disappeared in a flash.

"Bella, I _know _you don't want to wait. You're just being stubborn. Please Bella, _you know you want to._" He DID NOT just use those words, especially in _that _tone. Now I really wanted to get in his pants. Wait. Did I just think that? Oh god. He's turned me into a sex-crazed maniac. Well I suppose that's what I was; after all, my dream last night _was _a little sex-crazed.

"Edward. Stop before I do something I will, okay I probably won't regret." Right, time to resort to begging. If this didn't work, well I was going to have a good night.

"Bella you know you won't regret it. You'll enjoy it so very much." Edward snaked his arms around my waist and brought me closer. His lips then made their way to my ear, and then he gently nibbled my ear. My breath was becoming very quick now.

"_Edward! _I'm trying to be a good girl, and you are making it _really _difficult for me to be a good girl." I unintentionally bent my neck so he could get to it easily. Wrong thing to do, _totally _wrong thing to do.

Edward trailed his lips from my ear to my cheek, and then he moved back a little so he could look into my eyes. His eyes burned with so much passion that I swear I was about to melt.

"Then be a bad girl for me Bella. Be a _really, bad _girl." I could not keep this up for much longer. I knew in a second, my resolve was going to crumble.


	2. Chapter 2

I couldn't give in, I just couldn't!

No matter how much I wanted this _and _him, I could not give in. I needed to show him what it was like _before _the whole meadow ordeal. I wanted him to know exactly how I felt when he pulled away all those times.

_I can do this, I can do this. _

I chanted this in my head while Edward returned to my neck, kissing it slowly. I, once again, unwillingly let out a moan of pleasure. I felt him smile against my neck, taking it to be a sign to keep going. He brought his hands to my shoulders, sliding them down a little so that his hands were now just above my breasts.

_I can't do this, I really can't do this._

He pushed me slightly so that I had no choice but to step backwards. Then before I knew it, he had me backed up against the wall, with my legs wide open.

_SHIT! NO! MUST STOP! _

"Edward..." I tried to protest, but it came out as a moan. His hands had travelled to my butt and he squeezed it gently.

"What is it my love? Want to be bad for me yet?" Right, that was it. I would show him a thing or two.

"Edward, I'm saying sorry now." Luckily, he hadn't notice my hand edging closer to his pants, for he was _way _too preoccupied.

He paused and looked at me, confusion written on his face.

"What are you sorry about?"

"This." As soon as I said it, I grabbed his crotch, which was pretty hard right now, and gripped it as hard as I could. Edward let out a little yelp and backed away from me. By the time I blinked, he was sitting on the bed, cradling himself. Told you I would show him.

"Bella! What was that for?" Ha. At last, I have found a vampire's sensitive part. I laughed evilly in my head. I should use it more often from now on.

"Let's just say, I took a leaf out of your book, but changed it so it would work for you."

Considering I was still flushed from what we had been doing, I managed to get the sentence out pretty well.

Edward looked thoughtful for a moment, and then sadness swept across his face. He bent his head down so that he was staring at his feet. Crap, what had I done now.

"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to be so pushy. I know that you're not ready and I didn't mean to push you."

_What the hell? _

Of course I was ready, did he not notice me squeeze his dick or something? Sheesh, I guess I better explain it to him.

"Edward," I sat down next to him a placed my hand on his thigh. "You are so silly sometimes, of course I'm _ready. _It's just that, I wanted you to know what it was like to be me _before _the whole Victoria thing. When we had 'boundaries'. I didn't mean to be mean and I wasn't rejecting you. God, I mean, who would reject _you? _But, I thought it was only fair you knew what it was like. And I'm probably going to regret this later but I promise that as soon as I think you've had your fair share of 'boundaries', I'll let you do _whatever you want _with me."

I dragged the last bit out so that he knew I meant it. Once I had finished, his mouth turned into a big smile, though he didn't move his body.

"Whatever I want?" He whispered to the floor. His face still with its huge grin.

I leaned in closer so that my lips were barely touching his ear.

"Whatever you want." I whispered.

He lifted his head up and turned to me. His eyes sparkled with excitement, and his grin got bigger.

"Bella, I don't think you'll regret what I've got planned for _you. _I think you'll like it so much you'll be begging for more."

My mouth was now hanging open in surprise. Edward Cullen, the most gentlemanly vampire I have ever met, just said I would be 'begging for more'? What has this world come to?

"We'll see about that. Meanwhile, we need to go somewhere, before you decide to do something to me, while we're alone." I smiled slyly at him and walked to my wardrobe.

"Hmm, alone sounds like a great word, when you put me and you with it." I heard him stand up and walk towards me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. "Though, I wouldn't care if we were alone or not if you smelled _this _good."

I turned my head to look at him and raised my eyebrows.

"You would take me in public?"Hmm, didn't sound like a bad idea. Wait, no! Not again. Must, not, be, sex, crazed.

"Yes. Then when we got in, then in the shower, then when we get into the bedroom, then before you fall asleep, and then in the morning and it would happen all over again." Wow, I thought _I _was sex crazed. Jeez he was thinking about doing it _six _times. In one day.

I smiled at him and he smiled back, a little embarrassed but proud of his statement.

"You really want this don't you?" He chuckled a little then whispered in my ear.

"More than I should." I couldn't help but giggle at his comment. Edward had never really been like this, but I definitely didn't want him to go back to normal. If you could call it normal.

I decided to change the subject, before things got out of hand again.

"What shall I wear?" I started searching through my wardrobe for something generally decent.

"Nothing." He mumbled into my neck. I rolled my eyes and turned in his arms.

"Edward, seriously. Just be _sensible _for a little while. You can wait for a little longer, I had to too you know." He sighed and unwrapped his arms from around me. He looked defeated, though he looked very adorable like that.

"Oh Edward." I threw myself at him and kissed him. He was caught slightly by surprise but welcomed the hug anyway. "You're so cute when you look defeated." I wrapped my legs around his waist and looked at him. He looked slightly bewildered at first then smiled.

"Does that mean I get a treat for looking so cute?" I couldn't help but giggle, again; he looked like a little boy who thought he was asking too much but asked anyway. I pondered in my head for a minute, wondering if I would be able to stop if I started. Ah what the heck.

"I think, maybe you should get a _little _treat." I smiled coyly at him, and then brought my lips to his. He welcomed them like my life depended on it. I ran my hand through his hair, while my other wrapped around his neck.

His hands, how ever, were on my back and once again, on my butt. A new routine was happening here, and I'm ashamed to say, I kind of liked it.

The contrast between my hot lips and his icy cold ones was amazing. It felt really good and I wanted more. _A lot _more but I had to remember, don't push it. I felt him lick my lip and I knew he was trying to push it. I smiled, whilst I was still kissing him, then gently bit down on his bottom lip and slowly pulled away.

"Did Edward like his little treat?" I couldn't keep a straight face, at all.

"Oh yes, Edward liked his treat a lot. But Edward does wonder what a big treat would be like, if this was only a little one." I laughed at him, one, for using third person, and two, because he looked so eager to find out.

"Well, Edward will have to find out _later. _Meanwhile, you got to help me choose what to wear, I'm clueless." I flicked through my various clothes then found a dark blue tank-top that would match with some jeans that I knew I had washed today.

"Actually don't worry. Found something! I'll go get changed in the bathroom, and no peeking Mr Cullen!" I had no idea why I said 'Mr Cullen' but it suited the sentence, if that makes sense.

"Okay, Bella, I may be bad, but I'm not _perverted_." He had his arms crossed in front of his chest and an eyebrow raised. I smiled innocently at him then went into the bathroom.

I changed quickly, not liking the time I was wasting without Edward. When I came out, Edward was sitting on my bed, reading Wuthering Height's intently. I tried to hold in a giggle but he noticed and looked up.

"What?" He seemed confused.

"I thought you said you didn't like that book." I went to stand in front of him, but immediately regretted it as he pulled me onto his lap. I wasn't _really _complaining, but if this was going to work out, he really needed to stop this.

"I don't. It's just I thought if I read it again, I might find something in it to make me like it the way you like it. But so far, it's still the same old Heathcliff and Cathy. Ugh." He chucked the book across the room. That was no way you treated one of _my _books.

"Hey! Go pick that up!" I pointed to the book whilst staring forcefully at him.

In the next second, he had the book in his hand and he was smiling stupidly at me. _Stupid vampire speed. _I got up off his lap and turned to face him, this time with a little distant.

"You know Edward; if you're like _that _you might not even _get _a big treat. Now come on otherwise Alice will never stop moaning at me."

As soon as I said the words 'not', and 'big treat' in the same sentence, he was standing up and at the door in a flash. I laughed at his enthusiasm, liking the way I was in _control _and made my way past him down the stairs.

"Are we taking my truck?" I asked, in case Edward decided he want to run.

"Bella, you've denied me enough already today and I've only seen you for about an hour. We're taking the Volvo, as it's parked round the corner." He flashed me his amazing crooked grin which made me melt, and I dreamily made my way towards his car.

Maybe I wasn't in control as much as I thought I was, maybe I was. But I knew one thing for sure, it was going to be great either way.

**A/N: Sorry haven't said anything yet or... put a disclaimer. Ehe. Please R&R. Hope you liked it, and do you want a lemon?? :D**


	3. Chapter 3

The journey to Edward's house was…different

The journey to Edward's house was…_different. _Well at first it was the usual comfortable silence, bar the radio, as Edward raced down the road; but then the radio tuned out and _the _worse song came on. Well bad for our situation anyway.

You know I never  
I never seen you look so good  
You never act the way you should  
But I like it

Oh no. Please no this is not happening.

And I know you like it too  
The way that I want you  
I gotta have you  
Oh yes, I do

I turned to look at Edward and his hands were gripping the steering wheel so hard that it looked like it was about to break.

You know I never  
I never ever stay out late  
You know that I can hardly wait  
Just to see you

Wait a minute. Hard…

And I know you cannot wait  
Wait to see me too  
I gotta touch you

I dropped my gaze to Edward's pants. Shiiiit…

Cause baby we'll be  
At the drive-in  
In the old mans ford  
Behind the bushes  
Till' I'm screamin for more  
Down the basement  
Lock the cellar door  
And baby

I looked back at Edward's face. His jaw was clenched, but only till he mouthed the last line.

Talk dirty to me

No this had to stop!

I quickly pressed some buttons on the radio so that another station came on. Boy this was not my night.

Oh baby dont you know I suffer?

Oh baby can you hear me moan?

You caught me under false pretences

How long before you let me go?

The songs bass trembled through the car, making me in the mood for something I really shouldn't be in the mood for. Edward was looking straight ahead, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. He was most definitely fighting for control.

I remember one of my friends back where Renee lives, once told me that they thought this was the ultimate sex song. I disagreed with her then but now…I couldn't agree more. And I think Edward would agree with me too. His jeans looked pretty tight at the moment.

I pressed another button, hoping that some form of classical music would come on. But tonight, clearly, was not my night.

How did ya' know I needed you so badly  
How did ya' know I gave my heart gladly  
Yesterday I was one of a lonely people  
Now you're lying next to me  
Making love to me

Edward slammed on the brakes and cut off the engine so the music stopped. His breathing looked laboured and unsteady.

I slowly turned my face to look at him properly.

"Edward, are you okay?" My voice was quite shaky, not with fear, but I think with passion?

"Songs…you, Bella…turn on…" I had never seen Edward so at a loss for words, but the next things he did told me why. He turned his head and looked at my lap.

"Smell." As soon as he said that single word, I realised I was slightly wet in between my legs. Holy shit! I was daydreaming about Edward whilst I was listening to the songs.

Edward looked like he was about to burst, and I knew he was going to take me here in the car whether I liked it or not.

But I could still try.

"Edward, look at my face." He didn't move his head, he just shifted his eyes so that they were piercing mine. I nearlt moaned out loud because of the amount of passion in them. But I knew if I did, I would be in the backseat in less than a second.

"Get out of the car, and breathe deeply that air. I'll stay in here." Even though I knew he wasn't going to do it, I still tried.

He didn't move.

"Bella, please." His voice was low and hoarse. "You want this Bella, your body wants this. It's letting me know Bella, and I don't think that's an offer I can refuse."

Stupid body! Always giving me away. But I couldn't, not now, in his car!

He's right though, I did want it, no I do want it but I can't.

I noticed Edward shift towards me slightly, and I in turn, did the same.

What am I thinking!? No! Bad! Stop! Now!

"I want you Bella. I need you. Please, I beg you." How can I refuse BEGGING!?

EDWARD, BEGGING ME, FOR ME! HOW CAN I SAY NO!

Okay, okay calm down, calm down. I'm slipping here, and fast. Must not give in.

Then, he did the one thing, my sane self was begging him not to do.

He growled a low, deep and wanting growl. It wasn't loud, but you could hear the almost thunderous sound erupting from his chest.

I lost it.

I smiled menicingly at him, using it as a way to say "Come and get it". If my mind had any control, what so ever over what I was doing, I would have got out the car. But my mind was no longer involved, this was my body talking now.

The next thing I knew, was that I was pinned up against the inside of Edward's bedroom door, being kissed passionately by my fiancee.

When I had time to readjust to the surroundings, I wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed just as forcefully back. As soon as I tightened my legs around his body, I felt him, big and hard, against the place that needed the most attention. We both moaned at the same time when those to places touched. It was utter bliss.

I felt his hand creep up the front of my top, feeling his way across my stomach then towards my chest. He stopped there and started massaging my breasts. I let out a load moan that was quickly silenced by Edward's mouth back on mine.

Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea.

I tried to move a bit, as the door knob wasn't that comfortable, but as I squirmed, I felt Edward's hips instinctively shift closer to mine. I parted our kiss and then moved my lips to his ear.

"Getting a little excited are we?" I bit his earlobe, which gained a moan from him, then was pushed onto the bed with Edward laying on top of me.

That's right people, not laying over me but laying on top of me. I could feel his hard abs and his hard dick pressing against me, and it felt wonderful.

I then heard a loud knock on the door.

This was NOT happening.

When I don't want to, I get horny music playing on every single station and then when I do, I get people WALKING IN ON US!

By the time I had shouted this in my head, I was under the covers and turned away from the door.

"Pretend to be asleep." Edward's voice was still hoarse, which was fine with me, but who ever was outside the door would suspect something.

I heard Edward open the door, and then sigh.

"Alice what do you want?"

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU TWO DOING!? DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF I DECIDED NOT TO STOP YOU??" Alice was screaming this at Edward, so his plan wouldn't exactly work.

"Nothing would have happened Alice! Now leave us alone!"

"NO EDWARD! YOU WERE GOING TO KILL HER!"

Now both there voices were raised.

"I WOULD NEVER BITE BELLA! YOU KNOW THAT!"

There was a long pause before anyone said anything.

"I never said you bit her." Alice mumbled so quitely that it was hard to make out.

"What the hell did I do?"

"You were too hard on her Edward." Alice was still mumbling.

"Alice! I would never be too hard on Bella!" Uh-oh, voices becoming louder again.

"SHUT UP. I SAW IT. YOU MADE A HOLE IN HER!"

"WHAT!?" Both me and Edward screamed.

I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing. I knew both Edward and Alice were staring at me, but it was son funny.

"HAHAHAHAHA!!" I was rolling on the bed. I found it so funny, the fact that Edward would make a hole in me. It was just hilarious.

"Bella, it's not funny. Edward could've killed you." Alice was trying to be serious but you could hear the humour in her voice.

"It's just so funny…haha…that Edward would make a hole in me…haha…and then he'd be stuck. HAHAHAHA!" I struggled to get out my sentence but I did in the end. Though, I laughed even harder when I actually said it.

I kept rolling around, laughing, banging my fists on the bed. At one point, I rolled so far to one side of the bed that I fell off the bed with a loud thump.

There was a moment of silence.

Then both me and Alice burst out laughing again. It was killing me, really it was. We were now both on the floor, laughing are heads off.

After a good five minutes laughing, Alice and I stood up, still quietly giggling, and looked at Edward. His expression was still horrified, knowing that if we carried on he might've killed me. I walked towards him and kissed him lightly.

"Sorry, Edward, I just found it so funny. I know I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry. But just think, if you found Rose and Emmett like that, what would you do."

There was a long silence, then finally my answer came.

Edward collapsed on the floor, laughing like he had never laughed before. Both me and Alice giggled but not as bad as Edward did.

It wasn't until, when Edward starting banging his fists on the floor so hard that he made a hole, did me and Alice collapse on the floor again.

By the time we all finished, we had the whole family staring at us, wondering why we were laughing.

Poor Esme was distraught because of the two large holes in the floor that Edward had created, had ruined her and Carlisle's bedroom ceiling.

Jasper and Rose looked bewildered, and Emmett, well he looked sad because he missed out on a joke. And what a joke it was!

Carlisle simply just shook his head.

"Edward, fill the hole in now. Alice help him. Everyone else, apart from Bella, downstairs please. Bella, follow me." Carlisle's voice was stern, but sincere at the same time.

This didn't sound like this talk was going to be about what just happened.

Edward's pained face told me that much.

**A/N: Haha, how'd you like that. Sorry I didn't do a lemon yet but it's hard to write that kinda stuff when your parents are around :D anyway please review!!**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Okay people, sorry this has taken forever but I had a little writers block so sorry

A/N: Okay people, sorry this has taken forever but I had a little writers block so sorry!! Well anyway hope you like it and oh DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight, unfortunately.

I followed Carlisle out of the room, now really worried about what he'll say. He looked sad when he told me to come with him, I was nervous. When we arrived at his study, Carlisle closed the door and then went to lean on the front of his desk.

"Bella, I'm sure you've guessed this isn't about the _incident _downstairs." He wasn't looking at me, but looking at the bookshelf that was behind me.

I nodded slowly, waiting for him to carry on.

"Your father, Charlie, called my phone about 15 minutes before we arrived at the house. At first, I thought it was because I was needed at the hospital but in fact, he wanted to talk to me about you." Now Carlisle looked at me, straight in the eye.

Oh no what had Charlie said.

I stayed silent, not able to speak. My mood changes in the past hour have been hectic.

"He wanted to know what you and Edward do when you're here. As you know we are vampires so I would obviously know or find out, but I said I didn't know or really want to know about my son's personal relationships. I have a feeling he wanted to know if you were in an…intimate relationship with Edward, he was very nervous when he asked."

Carlisle paused, still looking at me, but his face was sad and solemn. I waited for him to continue.

"I'll skip most of it but what he really wanted to say is that he doesn't want you coming round here anymore."

I froze.

Is Charlie bloody MAD?

"Also, now don't do anything drastic Bella, but he doesn't want you seeing Edward anymore." As soon as he said that sentence my breathing hitched and my heart stopped, well it felt like it.

"WHAT?!" I never knew I could scream that loud. Then from downstairs there was a loud crash and Edward was by my side in an instant.

"IS HE FUCKING CRAZY!?" Wow Edward swore, he must be mad. Really mad.

"Now Edward calm down—"

"I'M NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN! I AM NEVER LEAVING BELLA FOR ANYONE OR ANYTHING! WHAT CAN'T PEOPLE SEE THIS??" Though my anger was still at danger level, I looked up at Edward questioningly.

"Who doesn't believe you?" Edward's eyes closed and his face relaxed a little. Then he turned to me, his controlled mask covering his real emotions, barely.

"Every single vampire apart from the ones in this family. And now the wolves and your own father doesn't believe I'm staying for good." I felt my face fall and my heart beat speed up.

"It's ok Bella. I'll never leave you, ever." I felt slightly reassured but my head was whizzing. If the whole town thought Edward would leave again, would he _actually _leave?

Edward turned to look at Carlisle, his mask slowly slipping. Carlisle spoke slowly, letting the words sink in better.

"Charlie says you can stay here tonight but tomorrow he wants you back. I'm sorry Bella, but you can't go against your father's wishes" I looked down at my feet, anger and sadness both bubbling up at once.

"You wanna a bet?" Well the first one to resurface was anger.

"Bella, I would do as your father says for now. Something tells me he won't budge for a while." And with that, Carlisle ushered us out of his study and walked downstairs. Edward and I stood there, out in the hallway, simply standing and staring at anything but each other. I decided I had to break the silence before it became too much.

"Can we go up to your room? I don't feel like going downstairs." My voice sounded small and weak. Yes, now the sadness had appeared.

Edward didn't say anything; he just put his hand on the small of my back and walked with me upstairs. We walked into his room and I went to sit on his bed. I had no idea what was wrong with us. It wasn't like we weren't able to see each other _ever _again. I mean we'd see each other during the nights, as Charlie didn't have any idea about Edward coming through the window. Something just seemed to make us feel lost and really sad.

"By the way Bella, it's Jasper. He's channelling everyone's emotions into sadness, as that's what everyone else is feeling. It'll pass soon." I slowly registered Edward's words, then, for no reason or motive what so ever, I starting crying quietly. I felt the hot tears trickle down my cheeks and then felt a cold hand brushing them away.

"Shh Bella. It's ok. It'll go away I promise." I felt him pick me up and place me on his lap. He cradled me as I cried into his shirt, gently stroking my hair. For some weird reason, it felt like everything was lost and it was the last time we were going to see each other. I snuggled into the crook of Edward's neck, and as drowsiness slowly swept over me, the last thing I though about before I went to sleep was how many different ways I could kill Charlie.

_Bella's Dream._

**(A/N: I'm warning you now, this is VERY random!!)**

_Early one morning as the sun was rising, I noticed that the sun wasn't actually rising and that there was an apocalypse. I laughed to myself._

"_God doesn't like me anymore." I walked out of my room and down the darkened corridor. It was scary. Then out of the blue came CHARLIE THE UNICORN! OMG!_

"_I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!" I ran over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck._

"_Hey Charlie! Let's go on an adventure Charlie!" For no particular reason, I had decided to sound like one of the crazy, annoying unicorns that pissed Charlie off. Yay violence!_

"_Ugh! Get off me you pervert!" What I wasn't expecting was that Charlie's voice was that of a 5-year-old girl who was suddenly shit scared of me. Like I said, god doesn't like me._

_I unwrapped my hands around his neck and then __**POOF**__ he was gone. OMG! I collapsed on the floor and started crying, I cried for about a minute then got up and did a dance. I tried to do it Frankenstein style but I kind of fell over when I tried to walk up the wall with straight legs. Owee that hurt! _

_Anyway, I carried on my journey through the great unknown called Edward's house. It was scary again. I hopped down the stairs as one of my legs had mysteriously vanished, and went into the kitchen. Somehow, the sun was shining and god liked me again. Woop! So I hopped to the fridge to find a bar of guacamole flavoured chocolate when JAMES MASTERS appeared in front of me. His hair was platinum blonde and slicked back. _

"_CORR! HE'S FIT!" I proclaimed randomly. He suddenly did a random pose then twirled around like a ballerina then landed in the splits. _

"_I LOVE YOU!" He bellowed it practically in my face. __**LOL**__. I patted his head then kicked his face in. The sky went black. God doesn't like me anymore. God damn it! Hey I used god's name in vain. Mooha. _

_Anyway, my leg had re-appeared and life was great again, but still unnaturally dark. I looked at the clock that had furtively appeared on the wall and realised that this whole thing had happened in about five minutes and that kicking James Masters' face in was a pretty bad idea. _

_I stood still for a while and did nothing. Fun. Then there was a huge explosion and it was raining rubber ducks. But they were evil ducks with red eyes and fake vampire teeth. LMAO. God wants to marry me! Is god a colour?_

"Bella? Wake up Bella!" I opened my eyes slowly and stared at the angel above me. Was I still dreaming? No, that dream was _waaaaaaaaaaay _to weird for Edward to be in it.

"Yeah Edward?" I got up and realised we were lying on his bed. Ha, funny. I just woke up in my dream. I looked out the window and it was in fact morning. Well at least there wasn't an apocalypse.

"Why were you mumbling about Charlie the Unicorn, Frankenstein, James Masters being _fit, _rubber ducks and marriage?? I'm very confused." Ah, poor Edward. I guess he thought I was mad and a bit deranged.

"Well, I could tell you about my dream but it would take to long. Let's just say it was…" I paused to find the right word. "Random. It was very random." I laughed to myself and sat on Edward's lap. Then like a blind covering a sunlit window, last night came rolling back in my head, dampening my high mood. Yeah that was right, I had to 'leave' Edward. Pfft. Like that would ever happen.

"Bella, we have to leave soon if you want your dad to let you out at all over the summer." He pulled me against his chest and kissed the top of my head.

"Yeah I know, but I'd rather stay here with you. And I emphasise the 'with you' part. I swear my dad is crazy, I'm going to kill him." The anger form last night was building up again.

"No Bella. Let's just do what he says and then we can find out _why _he's doing this. Don't think that you're the only one annoyed by this. I am absolutely livid, it's hard to keep it all in." I turned round in his lap and stroked his face.

"I'm sure it's going to be fine. Now I better get ready to face that deadly father of mine. I have a feeling he's not going to be nice." I gave Edward a light kiss, then made my way to the bathroom.

Jeez, what a retarded dream.

A/N: LMAO how was that? Now if you don't know some things here are the answers.

Charlie the Unicorn is LEGENDONIC and you should search it on you tube. There's a no.2 now so watch that too.

James Masters is from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I know, sad, but my friend was and still is absolutely obsessed with him, he's the vampire/friend kind of guy btw, so I just had to add him.

God was involved because of some internet thing/quiz and one question was "What's your favourite colour?" and one of the answers could've been, "Is God a colour?" So yeah.

And the lastly, I wrote that dream in a German lesson when we had a shithead of a teacher so yeah. Hope you enjoyed and please review!! 


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